- You know how to pronounce and spell Saskatchewan without blinking
- You put on shorts as soon as it hits plus 10, even if there is still snow around
- You know what a tuque (toque?) is
- You are excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada
- You make a mental note to talk about it at work the next day
- You use a red pen on your non-Canadian textbooks and fill in the missing ‘u’s from labor, honor, and color
- You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers
- Pike is a type of fish, not some part of a highway
- You drive on a highway, not a freeway
- You know what a Robertson screwdriver is
- You understand the sentence, “Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine.”
- You drink pop, not soda
- You love your fries with poutine
- You go to the washroom, not the restroom or bathroom
- Someone accidently stepped on your foot. You apologize.
- You stepped on someone’s foot. You apologize, then apologize for making them apologize
- You have worn shorts and a parka at the same time
- “Eh” is a very important part of your vocabulary and you understand all the 1,000 different meanings of “eh”… eh?
- You know schools don’t issue a snow day unless there is a severe blizzard
- You don’t mind leaving your wet winter boots at the door when visiting your dentist, etc.
- You order a “double-double” at Tim Horton’s (famous coffee shop, Canada’s pride), not two cream and two sugar
- Your local Dairy Queen (ice cream shop) is closed from September through May
- Someone in a Home Depot offers you assistance… and they don’t work there
- You’ve worn shorts and a parka at the same time
- You’ve had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number
- You measure distance in hours
- You know several people who have hit a deer more than once
- You have switched from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day and back again
- You can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching
- You install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked
- You carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them
- You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit
- The speed limit on the highway is 80 km and you’re going 90 and everybody is passing you
- Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow
- You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction
- You have more miles on your snow blower than your car
- You find 2 degrees “a little” chilly
- If you actually understand these Canadian jokes, you definitely live in Canada! :)
Canadian Humour
